BREAK FROM ARKHAM!

It took a little while, but I had to lay low from this stupid blog in order to get my way out of this place…

Coulda done it months ago, but of course, I was too goddamn lazy.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I know, there’s a new article in the Gotham Times. Well, you know what that means: it’s time for an update in the “HA HA HA TIMES!” I’ll put that up so you clowns can have your laughs.

HUGS AND KISSES,
The Joker

Videos, Ooh La La!

Yes, yes, yes, my lovelies, I am going to make a VIDEO!
I’m going to be torturing the juvies of Arkham Asylum. Yes, my stupid little freaks, there are JUVENILES in ARKHAM ASYLUM! And we meet up every day during lunch. Because they make fun of my clown makeup, well, they’re gonna go to HELL! Now I might end up meeting them there, but who’s gonna stop me from having my fun? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Citizens for Batman

So I visited http://www.citizensforbatman.org/ the day I wrote that song about Crane dearest and for the past couple of weeks I been VANDALIZING it!
HAHAHAHA

Then I got threat emails.
Do you honestly think I care? You stupid, stupid, clowns supporting the bat-freak?
HA HA! Do you honestly think you could win?

My new, number one song!

I came up with a song about Jonathan Crane today when I watched him during lunch when we ate beans that looked like pieces of shit and gave people gas issues.
It’s beautiful, and one day, a famous singer will sing it and it will be #1 on the Billboards. Oh I know you’re dying to read the lyrics.
So here:

(verse 1)
One day there was a man
Who was so insane and mad
And one day this man found some…
Gassy gassy gas

(Chorus)
He wasn’t so great, oh Jonathan Crane,
You weren’t so great, oh Jonathan Crane
You’re just a pretty little fearful dork
Oh Jonathan Crane
You’ve got to lighten up, oh Jonathan Crane
Are we having fun yet?
Are we having fun yet?

(Verse 2)
Hit me baby with that toxic fear stuff
It makes me feel like I have to pee
Or just release stuff
It’s all because of stupid men like Jonathan Crane
Or little babies who love scarecrows and have no brains

(Chorus)
He wasn’t so great, oh Jonathan Crane,
You weren’t so great, oh Jonathan Crane
You’re just a pretty little fearful dork
Oh Jonathan Crane
You’ve got to lighten up, oh Jonathan Crane
Are we having fun yet?
Are we having fun yet?

(Verse 3)
I want to shake shake that mask right off
And
Wear-wear that man right out
but
Not that way, OOH you sick pervert!
I want to be… a…. FREAK

(Chorus)
He wasn’t so great, oh Jonathan Crane,
You weren’t so great, oh Jonathan Crane
You’re just a pretty little fearful dork
Oh Jonathan Crane
You’ve got to lighten up, oh Jonathan Crane
Are we having fun yet?
Are we having fun yet?

Thank you, thank you thank you!

Scarecrow

Yeah, so I poked Jonathan Crane around a bit yesterday. Literally. With a stick. Don’t ask where I got the stick, I don’t remember. All I remember was poking him.
And he yelped. It was kind of funny.
I found out that he got caught working at Arkham again and that he was locked in as an inmate. He got to keep the mask, though, because he was OCD on it and they’d thought Dr. Arkham could fix him up. HA HA HA! Let me tell you one thing about us insane people: when we have obsessions, you can’t fix us up. Only we can choose to do it.
HA HA HA!
So anyway, I managed to get a video of him and me talking. I’ll have to steal Harleen Quinzel’s computer to edit and upload it, so help me if I don’t get it done right away. Actually, don’t help me. If you complain, you die.
HA HA HA HA! HOW FUNNY?!

La La La La La

So I’m sitting here in boring old Arkham when I see that Jonny Crane is brought in to sit with me.
Only this time, he’s not wearing a suit. Well he is. But it’s orange, a jumpsuit, like mine.
And he’s got on a burlap scarecrow mask. Oh. It’s THE scarecrow mask. He’s pretty hot in that suit and mask.
HA HA HA HA HA!
I wonder what’s next?
Maybe I’ll post us a video… oooh hahahahahaha!

The DORK Knight

So I hear they’ve made a movie about what I did. With Gotham. Aww, they love me! Jonny Crane is less than happy, though. I mean, you know, he was captured and those mob lawyers DID get him out and all… some bad rep THAT is.

Then I find out the movie came out last summer and I go beserk, because then I hear the actor died. What a shit! He was amazing in that trailer. I’m gonna cry. Boo hoo.

Then I see what old Batsy did at the end (well, I don’t see, I hear from Quinzie), so I vandalize the trailer. Hah! HAHA! He’s a pooper. And rich people suck. And I always knew it was old Brucey because, well, you know, he wasn’t at his own party, and I know he was there earlier, and that Alfred Butler dude hid in the back. But… I don’t care. That’s why I got that Rachel girl. HA HA HA!

Oh, if you want to see the trailer, then here:

Yes. That’s MY youtube. Account name? idontbelieveinharveydent.

BECAUSE I DON’T! Screw you, pups!

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